While We Wait

This process has SO MUCH WAITING. For a control freak like me, this is probably the most difficult part. I can hardly wrap my mind around the waiting and the unknowns at this point. The weirdest part in adoption versus giving birth is the amount of unknowns time-wise. You just know when you're pregnant that you have a due date, and most likely, the doctor's won't let you go too far past that due date.

 

In adoption, there are SO MANY dates that you're waiting on, and it's a total moving timeline since every date is contingent on another date or step coming to completion. I mentioned previously that we are waiting on getting our home study back from the State of Colorado so we can send in all of our grant info. Once we get that done, we can send in our request to US Immigration for approval to bring a child home, which is the last piece of our dossier that we need to send in on my thirtieth birthday, and we will send the piles and piles of grant applications in:

I have no idea how people apply to grants when they have a job. Thankfully, I've spent the last month working on grant applications almost every naptime. It is SO. MUCH. WORK. We have spent so much time and energy on these. Will you please pray over these with us, that they do NOT go out in vain? That God would lay our family and our girl on the decision makers hearts and provide through these grant agencies?

 

I don't even feel like it would be wise to start fundraising yet- we've applied for a couple matching grants, and if those are awarded, we'd love to see if some of the fundraising events would be willing to contribute to that matching grant... we want to be good stewards of every single opportunity and penny raised, so we want to wait until we have the ability to move forward wisely with fundraising with friends and family.

 

So what do we do while we are waiting? We're trying to live and enjoy life. A family at our church went through this same process, and it was so refreshing to speak with her. She confirmed exactly what I've been feeling: this process is all consuming. When you're in the middle of it, it's always on your mind, and there's this hole everywhere you look because you're just waiting for that child that you know is on the other side of the world just waiting for you too.

 

Keegan has definitely noticed the "crunch" on our budget as we're putting every extra penny towards this adoption. He mentioned to me this week that we should "still do some fun things." He was so right, and I was so convicted. Not everything is expensive, but with a family of five it adds up. It's important to do some fun things, even if we have to spend some money to do so.

 

So today, instead of the normal basement closet fort building:

We decided to head over to a nearby pumpkin patch after church. And it was SO FUN!

It's been over a year since we last visited a pumpkin patch, and oh my how these dollies have grown. Such big, and precious boys.

They got balloon animals (which Bennett popped as soon as they were back in the car)...

And balloon swords...

Jumped it out on the jump pad...

And relaxed in pools of corn. Bennett even snuck some of this corn into the petting zoo to feed the animals :)

 

These boys are truly some of the best, and most loving people I know. I am so excited for them to have a sister and experience this whole process along with us. It's so cool to see how their (Keegan especially) compassion is increasing, and their are thinking of Caroline all the time. We walk through Target, and Keegan is no longer desperate for things to buy for himself; he walks around pointing out things he thinks we need to get for our sister.

 

The other night, Keegan was very concerned about Caroline...

 

Keegan: Mom? Does she know she's ours? What if someone else buys her first?

Me: First, we don't buy people. It's just a very expensive process because it takes a lot of work to adopt. SHE doesn't cost a lot of money, the work to bring her home costs a lot of money. And no, she doesn't know, but the people in China that handle adoptions already knows that she's ours.

Keegan: BUT WHAT IF SOMEONE BUYS HER FIRST?! Why can't we just pay now, and bring her home?

 

Oh sweet dolly.

 

This has already provided so many opportunities for conversations. We've talked about how God makes everyone different, and that no one is any better or worse than anyone else just because they're different. We've been able to talk about her birth family, and the tough choices they had to make for her. They're heavy, heavy things, but they're gospel things, and I definitely don't think a child is ever too young to be privy to such information that allows their hearts and minds to grow in compassion and mercy and grace.

 

When I was a little girl, I wanted a dollhouse... Bad. You know, the ones you see that have lights inside, and fancy Victorian décor? My dad bought one for me one weekend I was at his apartment, but for one reason or another, it sat unbuilt under my bed there forever.

 

So my mom and I saved, and bought our own kit, and together, both totally clueless on how to build anything, we build the dollhouse. It's super precious to me, and my mom saved it, and gave it to me a couple of years back. I was a little irritated to have it- I had all sons! I didn't need a dollhouse. Now, I'm so thankful to have it. This week, while Kris traveled, Keegan, Benny and I worked to repaint the dollhouse. We decided to use all of the leftover paint from OUR house to repaint the outside of the dollhouse so they would match. We even added OUR address onto it, and we couldn't be more excited to give Caroline her dollhouse when she comes home:

 

 

And just for good measure, here's this little cheeser, who started posing, completely unprompted with the finished product!

 

 

 

Anyway, we are waiting, and resting and trusting. I'll update again soon, hopefully with some progress regarding moving forward with the things listed above. Thanks so much for joining us on this journey!

 

And just to see you off, here's another picture of the cutest girl I know: